Four years ago, the accident
has claimed the people whom I love, I often
wondered about the circumstances of
my wife is now in
the heavenly realm, well are they? He must have
been very sad because her husband had left a
lady who was not able to take care of the
home and a child who is still so small.
That's how I feel, because I've felt that
I had failed,
can not meet physical
and spiritual needs of my child,
and failed to
become a father and mother to my children. One day, there
are important matters at work, I had to
immediately go to the office, my son was still asleep.
Ohhh I have to
provide a meal for
him.
Because there is still a
little rice, so I fry eggs
for her to eat.
After telling my
son who was still sleepy, and then I
rushed went to work. I lead
a double role, makes
my energy completely drained. One day when I came home from work I was very tired, after
working all day. Only
glimpse I hugged and
kissed my son, I
went straight into the bedroom, and
skip dinner.
However, when I lay down to bed with
the intention to eliminate
fatigue nap, suddenly I felt something was broken and spilled liquids
such as warm! I
opened the blanket and ..... that's where
the source of the problem ...
a broken bowl
with instant noodles
are a mess on the
sheets and blankets! Oh ... God! I was so
upset, I took a
clothes hanger and
immediately showered my son who was happily
playing with his
toys, with punches! She just cried, not asking for mercy at
all, he just gave a brief explanation:
"Dad, I was hungry and
had no leftover
rice. But the father
has not come home, so I want to cook instant noodles. I remember, my father once
told not to touch or use the gas stove
without any adults around, hence I turned
on the water machine and use hot water to cook the noodles. One
for dad and
one for me. Because
I'm afraid of noodles
would be cool, so I kept it under the blanket to
keep it warm until my father home. But I
forgot to remind
my father because I was playing with my
toys, I'm sorry, dad ... "
Instantly, tears started streaming
down my cheeks, but, I do not want my son see his dad
crying so I ran
to the bathroom to turn on the shower and
crying in the bathroom to cover the sound of my
tears. After a while, I approached my son, hugged
her tightly and gave
her medication for
an injury severe wound in his ass, then I persuaded him to sleep. Then I clean up spilled noodles on a
bed. When everything was done
and well past midnight, I passed my son's room,
and saw my son
was crying, not because of
a pain in the ass, but because he was
looking at his beloved mother's photo.
One year passed since
the incident, I tried,
in this period, to
focus attention by giving him the love of a father and
a mother's love and attention to all their
needs. Imperceptibly, my son
was seven years old, and will be graduating
from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave the bad
memories of his childhood and
he's grown up to be
happy.
However, recently, I've hit my son again, I am truly sorry. Kindergarten teacher called me and told me that my son was absent from school. I came home early from work, I hope he can explain. But he was not at home, I went looking around our house, calling out his name and eventually found himself in a stationery store, was playing computer games with joy. I was angry, took it home and showered him with blows. He was silent and then said,
"I'm sorry, daddy".
However, recently, I've hit my son again, I am truly sorry. Kindergarten teacher called me and told me that my son was absent from school. I came home early from work, I hope he can explain. But he was not at home, I went looking around our house, calling out his name and eventually found himself in a stationery store, was playing computer games with joy. I was angry, took it home and showered him with blows. He was silent and then said,
"I'm sorry, daddy".
After a long time I
investigated, it turned out he was absent from
the show "talent show" organized by the school, because the students are
invited to his
mother. And that's the reason for his absence because
he had no mother. A few days after the
judgment with strokes of the cane,
my son came home to
tell me, that school's started to be taught how
to read and write. Since then, my son more
locked himself in his room to practice writing, I'm
sure, if my wife was there and saw it he will feel
proud, of course, he makes me proud too! Time passes by
so quickly, one year
has passed. But
gosh, my son made
the problem again.
When I'm completion of work
in the last days of
work, suddenly the post office
called. Because mail
delivery is experiencing its peak,
the mailman also busy-busy, their mood became less good.
They called me with
rage, to tell
me that my son had sent several letters with no address.
Although I had promised never to hit my son
again, but I
could not resist
the temptation to hit him again, because
I feel that
this child is completely outrageous. But once
again, as before, he apologized:
"Sorry, Dad". No
extra one word to explain the reason to
do that.
After that I went to the post
office to pick up the letters
without the address
of the home. When I got home, I was pushing
my son angrily questioned
him into the corner, let alone this ridiculous
act? What's in his
head? The answer, in the
middle of the sob-cry,
is: "The letters to mother .....".
Suddenly my eyes filled
with tears. .... but I try to control your
emotions and continued to ask
him: "But why do you post so many letters, at the same time?"
My answer was:
"I have written a letter for the mother for a long time, but every
time I want to reach
out to the mailbox, too high for me, so I can not post my letters. But
recently, when I
went back to the postbox, I could reach the box and I sent it
all at once ". After hearing this explanation,
I'm lost for words, I'm confused, do not
know what I
should do, and what should
I say. I said to
my son, "Son, mom is in heaven, so
to
furthermore, if you want to write something for mom, enough to burn the letter
then the letter will
come to mommy. Upon
hearing this, my son became more
calm, and soon
after that, he was able to sleep well. I promise I will burn the letters
on his behalf, so I brought the letters
outside, but ....
I'm so curious
to not open
the letter before they turn into ashes.
And any of the
contents of his letters breaking
my heart which read: 'Dear
mother', I miss
you so much! Today, there is
an event 'Talent
Show' in school,
and invites all
mothers to be present at the show. But
you're not there,
so I do not
want to attend as
well. I did not tell Dad about it because I
was afraid my father would
start to cry and
miss again. When
it was to hide
the sadness, I sat in diapan computer and started
playing games at
one of the shops. Dad goes around looking for me, after my father found
me angry, and I can only keep quiet, dad hit
me, but I did not tell the real
reason. Mother, every day I see my father miss you, every
time he thought of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we
both really, really miss you.
Too heavy for
both of us. But Mom,
I'm starting to forget your face. Can the
mother appeared in my dream
so I can see your face and remember
you? My friend said if you fall asleep with
the photograph that
you have been watching, then you will see the person
in your dreams. But mom, why do you never show
up?
After reading that
letter, my tears could
not stop because I could never replace the irreplaceable gap left by my wife
since
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Thank you for the interesting article and pictures. Hopefully be an inspiration for us all.
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I hope you have an amazing bank holiday weekend!
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Thank you for your very sweet comment on my blog,
Speak soon,
Lots of love
Kate xo
www.and-kate.blogspot.com
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