AFTER departure

I always remember you, even though I know it hurts ..
I open my phone, there is no longer you who always meets my inbox, no more saying good morning and good night for me. No more jokes that always accompany your laughter in happiness, no more jokes that made ​​me laugh. No more stares that make my heart flutter and soothing. No more hand grip which always made ​​me strong every issue that came up. There is no longer your arms are made ​​secure peace close to you. Now, now there's something missing, is not the same as before.

I wish my days to run smoothly as usual., Although none beside you. Now, I try to get through all my activities as usual. And I can take it all though my heart feels empty, hollow without you to keep me company every day. But, I have to stay strong with all of this. After your departure, I realized how much I love you. Upon departure, you took all the love and happiness that I had, ran into a strange place that actually did not know his whereabouts. your behavior is so poignant for me, and I was too weak to get this ordeal, I was so weak to get a scar on my head which is increasingly growing.

Now I realized, was not he who was so sincere love me, but you have loved me and loved me sincerely without any lies. Honestly, I regret once you're actually going to leave me here with your shadow. I'm sorry to have to disappoint you, but I did not mean to disappoint you. I'm sorry I prefer him in appeal obviously you are my beloved. It was obvious he was a playboy and has been hurt over and over again with all the lies and false promises, but you're different, you're so look after me, love me, and I just wasted. Why am I so stupid? 

I've never repay all your kindness to me, and I never love like you who always loved me. In fact I always vent all my anger to you, and oddly enough that you apologize to me. Often I lie to you often I go out with him without the knowledge of you, and that means I was playing behind you. Every time you wanted to see me, I often refuse. But why I can not resist him whenever he wanted to see me? Even if you take me home with, I do not want and refuse. I prefer to go home with my friends. I realized it was all wrong, but why do I continue to repeat it again? You once said that I was selfish, I do not accept you talk like that to me, and I was angry. I just realized I was selfish, really say.

She always do what my will, but I never do what you want. Until a few weeks later you stay away, you disappear from my life, you do not send me the news at all. It made me angry and I think you broke up with me unilaterally, without knowing what the problem is. Then, you call me in the imitation with you. Somehow I became hate you, probably because you're missing a few this week. You asked me out on a night this week, but I refused because you're not my boyfriend anymore. I tell you, you better get out of my life do not ever call me again, look for other women out there who are better than me. But in fact you even apologize to me for the mistake yesterday was away from me. You said you just wanted to testing me. But this is not the right way. I can not forgive you, I will not give you another chance. And that means that now you and I are just friends usual. When in fact I hate parting with it.

Somehow if I remember it all, a thousand regrets are always up to me. Are you hurt because of me? It was like we hurt each other, like each other a grudge without knowing what the real issues.

I was crying uncontrollably in the quietness of the night, on the grounds that I was true love. I feel lost hero figure. While I always see you close with other women, and why it should be my own woman? You never know that I'm here to see you cry with him, I'm jealous ..

I was angry at myself, why I find it hard to forget you? While you're there so easily forget me ... God really is not fair to me. I feel like memory loss, so I did not recognize you and memories can be erased once inside my brain memory. That is the only way for now. Day by day, I continue to live my life without you. And I felt the day I always regretted my fault you. Are you there already get a replacement myself? I hope you still expect me, because I always expect your presence here in my life again. Are you there was always thinking about me? Like me who is always thinking about you. I just want to know the contents of your heart today. What you never think about what I'm thinking right now? which is increasingly clouded because there is no longer shining on my heart...

In my dreams you're always there for me, and you're mine. But it turns out, in real life, you're just a dream for me and I find it hard reach you back. There is nothing that can stand besides me let go and let yourself to other people who got you deserve. I'm trying to enjoy my grief, to my sickly until I get used to all that. I always shed a tear for you, but every teardrop that falls the more I miss you and it is hard to forget. Now I feel in love with you is not mine anymore.

But I have a God, have family and friends, who are always there for me. I definitely believe in God .. God is testing my patience at this time, and there must be a way out behind it all. Maybe in my eyes you are the best for me, but not necessarily the word of your Lord is better for me. I believe in God and believe that the scenario is the most beautiful.

The End